How to Get Her Attracted to You on a First Date13 minute read

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That Special Spark

Chemistry, that special spark, butterflies in the stomach and who knows what else. It has a lot of different names, but it’s a special feeling that most people don’t know how to describe. That’s what this post is about, how to create that feeling of desire, how to touch a girl to turn her on and crave you.

Love at first sight does happen, and those moments are very special.

In my experience, those moments are often reciprocated and is almost always mutual. When women feel this love at first sight, they get an intense and thrilling feeling bubble up inside of them. 

Though rare, it is possible to become the shameless type of man that gives women urges like this more often.  

But what we will cover isn’t something that’s blind luck, or based on genetics alone. Instead, this is about something that you can master; sexual tension and how to touch a girl to turn her on.

Sexual tension is that special feeling, that ‘magic’ that women talk about when they talk about a past date with someone who didn’t have ‘it’.

‘It’ is sexual tension. She didn’t want to fuck him and doesn’t understand why, even if she found him staggeringly attractive at first.

What Goes Into ‘It’?

There are many different things that can go into it, and looking attractive is certainly a part of it.

For some women, it’s all that matters while for others it doesn’t matter at all. For the overwhelming majority of women, it’s somewhere in between.

There are gorgeous men out there who don’t ever get laid and who don’t ever get girlfriends while some Quasimodo’s don’t ever have a problem with women. 

But why?

Because some people don’t have that magic spark while others have mastered the ability to stimulate women in ways they love.

Some don’t know how to create and handle the steamy sexual tension that excites and delights women. Nor how to touch a girl to make her show them her impure sides.

Meanwhile, there are some provocative men out there that can do the above and have learned how to be charismatic and charming

Sexual Tension: The Master Key to a Depraved Sex Life

The backbone of sexual tension is tension in general. At first, you will feel a pressure that feels overwhelming. It’s critical that you learn how to become comfortable with that pressure.

Women like men who are strong, men who are comfortable with uncomfortable situations and themselves.

That means when there is a silent moment in the conversation, don’t rush to fill that silence. That pause, that silence, is where the magic starts to happen.

DISCLAIMER

But, as usual I first have to give a disclaimer: doing this you will scare off some women some of the time. Don’t worry about them, if you see a woman getting uncomfortable then stop and move onto the next one.

Even the best of the best can’t get every single woman out there.

Those are called ‘no’ girls. ‘No’ girls don’t matter and focusing on them will devastate your self-esteem.

Instead, focus on finding the ‘yes’ girls because those are the ones that are going to give you some scandalous stories. They’re also the ones that are going to make your life better. 

Avoid Lawsuits

If a woman pulls back or seems uncomfortable, then take a step back.

It could be that she’s just not ready yet. Or it might be possible that she won’t ever be ready. This is up to you to decide if you want to stick it out and try again later or move on.

This is completely subjective and up to you.

It’s your journey, your adventure and your life.

You’re in the drivers seat. Don’t ever forget that.

Now let’s get back to the magic…

How to Touch a Girl

In another post we went over some beginner info about how to touch a girl, which you can access towards the end of this post. Those are more in-general scenarios, and will still be great on dates.

But for this post, let’s go over some date specific info on turning women into ravenously naughty sirens with your touch.

There are a few different ways you can go about on how to touch a girl on a date.

In the beginning, you’ll want to stick to ‘safer’ places like those in the article listed above mention. Safer places like the hand, or arm when making a point or in a high moment of the conversation.

How to Touch a Girl at first: start with the hand, arm or shoulder
This is always a safe place to start touching her

Typically, in the beginning, you’ll want to use the palm of your hand or fingertips.

To do this, just place your hand wherever it is that you want to place it for a second or two at the most. This kind of touch is to get her relaxed and used to your touch.

In other words, it helps cement the growing bond between you and creates trust. 

If you feel like using your palm is too much, you can instead use the back of your hand.

For some reason, people feel like it’s less invasive if you lightly touch them with the back of your hand. This is an especially easy way to get away with more naughty forms of touch in public, which we will talk about in a moment.

Close The Distance

If she’s too far away from you, you can even just tell her “give me your hand for a moment”.

As long as you haven’t set off any red flags and you don’t launch into touch the first moment you see her, she will more than likely go with it. This is also a way to get her to do something in the seduction as well so it’s not just you doing all of the work.

It’s another way to get her to invest in you.

You can do this to emphasize a story, or you can do this while she’s telling you a story. If she asks why just tell her the truth; that it helps you to understand her better and connect with her more.

There are a lot of guys out there that have whole routines/stories set aside just for these situations.

They work, and I’ve used them in the past: but I recommend that once you get the basics down you do something more natural in the moment. This is because it will work better.

How to Touch a Girl: The Next Step

After touching a woman a few times in the safer areas, you can do more. And if you want to turn a woman on and be a little more cheeky, touch her on her thigh. 

You can do this any number of ways. One way some people do it is to talk about the gym and bring it up during that conversation. 

Personally, I just treat it as the same as when touching her arm or shoulder. After making a point, I’ll touch her on the thigh to emphasize the point. 

But again, as usual: if she seems uncomfortable then just make a mental note of it and back up on the touching. 

Getting Past The Touching Basics

First date advice: where to place your hand: 1) shoulders are the friend zone. 2) groping her butt is the pervert zone. 3) the small of her back is the boyfriend zone. 4) the awkward almost choke hold is the virgin zone

Once you’ve broken the touch barrier (first time touch in general or even specific places) of her thigh, you’re free to touch her there whenever you want.

As long as it’s within reason, your touching privileges can be revoked at any time.

The Goal in Learning How to Touch a Girl

It’s important to note that you’re not trying to cop a feel when you touch women.

Yes, this is a guide on how to touch a girl while on a date. But you’re not trying to feel her up just yet. Being sexual is good, being horny for anything that will have you is bad.

When touching women, one mindset that helps me is this:

It’s like a dance (so many things involving women relate to dance it’s insane). 

We want to get her attracted to us and used to our touch first and foremost. After that, our secondary goal is to get her aroused until she’s ready to tear our clothes off like a sinful succubus. 

Inching closer to that second goal as time goes on. 

That’s the mindset behind how to touch a girl on a date. 

When She Becomes Aroused

When people feel different emotions they tend to anchor those emotions to whatever is around them. In this case; you.

If you touch her and she becomes aroused she will see you as someone who turns her on and become more attracted to you.

Back to How to Touch a Girl

One of my favorite ways to touch women is to use my fingers and lightly trace her. What I mean by this is that you’ll put your finger[s] on her and just start running them back and forth along her body.

This is something that I’ve always done after sex and find it helps solidify the bond you two have created. And before sex it’s a fun way to increase the sexual tension.

The thigh is an amazing place for this.

First date advice: the thigh is a sensitive place that you can touch to turn her on
Aim for that cute tattoo!

The reason is because it’s so close to her pussy and her inner thigh is sensitive. While you don’t want to touch her inner thigh right away, the outer part of her thigh is also a sensitive enough place to work our wondrous magic.

After breaking the thigh touch barrier, you can start ‘tracing’ her thigh with your fingers if you’d like. As long as neither of you bring any attention to it, it will create a sensual experience for her.

It will also turn her on (this is the primary reason why I sit next to women instead of across from them, it makes touching women easier).

You don’t want to just touch her here throughout the entire date though, you want to mix it up. If you notice that you’ve been tracing her or touching her for a few minutes then casually take your hand away and stop.

After pausing for a little while, move to other areas. Always try to mix it up!

Quick Warning:

Unless you plan on taking the interaction to sex soon, you want to be careful about turning her on too much.

If she gets excited and horny and then you don’t do anything about it, there’s an astronomical chance that you’ll never see her again.

You’ll have disappointed her and made her mad. Then she’ll go out and get her needs met by someone else or just sit and be mad (lost many more women than I should have because of this…)

So, just like most other things in life, you want to balance what you’re doing. If you plan on trying to have sex with her soon, then you can go a little further with your touch and get her wet for more.

Naughty Touch in Public

An extremely fun way to touch a woman is to graze her somewhere that’s more sexual, like her ass or even her boobs (but again, don’t do this right away and pay attention if you’re going to do it).

It’s a fun way to introduce more sexual tension into the interaction, and this is something that you can even do in public! Provided that you’re sneaky about it and make sure it’s a secret between just the two of you. 

If other people notice what you’re doing then it’s going to make her look bad. When and if that happens then she’s going to reject you to preserve her reputation. 

Don’t make women look bad! If you do you won’t ever get laid. 

The Technique:

If you’re touching her face, her hair or possibly even checked out a necklace she’s wearing you’ll do this immediately after.

Instead of just taking your hand away, you’ll lightly drop it.

With the back of your hand, you’ll drop your hand down her body and lightly graze her boobs.

I’ve been doing this for a few years and I’ve never been slapped for it.

Doing it this way will spike her emotions and give her a jolt of sexual energy.

It’s a light touch that will last maybe a few milliseconds.

You can do the same kind of touch when leading her somewhere. Place your hand on the small of her back (which you should always be doing anyways) and then let your hand drop and lightly graze her butt.

A fun technique in how to touch a girl: start with the small of her back and then lightly graze her butt when you drop your hand
Aim for just above her butt and then lightly drop your hand

This is a move that you want to use very, very sparingly.

Probably only once or twice in the entire interaction. You want it to be a special treat. Otherwise she will get used to it and it will become boring to her.

If you’re a complete beginner with touching, or you’re not sure about it, it’s best to avoid this move. But if you have the confidence to pull it off, it’ll work wonders for you.

But perhaps even more important than that, is choosing date locations that lead to love and lust in the first place

Another Way to Increase The Sexual Tension

Strong eye contact.

If you haven’t worked on your eye contact, you’ll feel an intense urge to look away when someone looks into your eyes.

But that’s what weak and polite people do, so you’ll need to train yourself to stop doing that because it wreaks havoc on a woman’s desire for you.

My Example of Fucking Up

To give you an example, when I was younger, I had a woman that would always ask about me when she saw anyone that I was related to. This girl, we’ll call her “T”.

T worked at a grocery store and even remembered some of my favorite snacks. She would occasionally go so far as to give free stuff to my family to give to me.

And then T had a college class with me. She made a lot of effort to be near me and talk to me. The entire time I was nervous as all hell, and couldn’t fathom how someone as hot as she was (and she was also 2 years older than me) would even be interested in someone like me.

But then one fateful day she cornered me after class.

I started to sweat, and when T tried talking to me I couldn’t even look her in the eyes. My eyes darted every which way, which did wonders for expressing how nervous I was.

Naturally, T picked up on this nervous, anxious energy I was giving off and her attraction for me plummeted straight into the depths of hell. All in the span of about 5 seconds.

After that, T never wanted to talk to me again and nor did she ever give me a free snack again. She stopped asking about me when she saw my family and was no longer interested in me. All because I couldn’t look her in the eyes.

That’s how important eye contact is.

Closing Notes

You don’t need any special tricks to maintain the sexual tension, as long as you’re touching her that will be enough.

But you do need to be able to look people in the eyes, especially women.

This is another sign of confidence in yourself, which is why it’s so sexy to women. While you don’t want to full on stare her down like a predator in heat, you do need to have the ability to gaze into her eyes.

The best time to do this is when you’re touching her and there’s a quiet moment in the conversation. Rather than rush to fill the silence with useless chatter, just look at her.

Look at her and smile.

This little action will communicate to her that you like her and that you think she’s sexy. Doing this will also tell her that you are a sexy man yourself.

She will feel your confidence.

Just doing these things will put you head and shoulders above most other men. These things will help her feel that ‘spark’ that she’ll talk about with her girlfriends after your date.

And when you reach out to her again for another date, she’ll smile and giggle as she remembers what she felt when with you.

But it’s a lot to take in, so if you need help in making it simple, click here

Keep Moving Forward
-Alexander

UPDATE: This article is the sexual tension side of dating women, but here are two more to help you out:

  1. You still need to know what to say to women to keep them interested.
  2. And this one is about how to get a deep voice that turns women on and gets men to respect you. 
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Author: Alexander

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