You open up your Tinder account, and at first everything is so exciting! So many possibilities and so many hot women! You start swiping right away.
But then a terrible realization starts to set in… you’re not getting the number of matches that you want. And you start feeling frustrated by the feeling of being ignored.
We’ve all been there, and it sucks. You want to know how to use Tinder so that you can get laid or even find someone special but it’s not working out.
Let’s dive into the first part about why that is…
Understanding a Woman’s Perspective
When it comes to understanding how to use tinder to get more women, we have to start with the women.
And this is a typical woman’s perspective:
Even somewhat cute women will be overrun with options. This means that we, as men, have to stand out from the crowd if we want success. One way to do that is through our messages, click this link to learn how to message women to get dates.
Thankfully, when you arm yourself with a little bit of knowledge you’ll realize that the bar isn’t set too high.
Which is great news for us! With just a little bit of effort, we can be one of the ‘lucky bastards’ that everyone looks at with envy.
Let’s get started…
1. Follow The Rules
The first step on how to use Tinder and get more results is to work on your appearance. But not in the way that you think.
On Reddit, there’s a cliche thrown around constantly known as ‘the 2 rules’, and they are:
It sounds depressing at first, but it’s actually the best thing for us!
The First Rule
The first rule is about taking care of your appearance. That means that you need a good haircut. If you’re into beards then maintain it and take care of it.
It also means dressing well, finding clothes that fit and colors that flatter you.
And yes, it also means getting in shape and going to the gym while also eating a clean diet. You don’t have to be a bodybuilder by any means (unless that’s what you want, and there is a niche of women that love it). But you should strive to get leaner and healthier.
There’s a fantastic article on what women find as the most attractive male body type, click here to read it. Outstanding article in my opinion that dives into it.
But here’s the watered down tl;dr version:
Find some kind of exercise that you enjoy doing and do it while also cleaning up your diet. You will naturally get a body type that women, on average, find most attractive.
A body that looks fit and healthy, but doesn’t look like you obsess over it. Basically, if you look like you’re naturally in good shape, you’re winning.
2. Don’t Be Ugly By Accident
The second rule, don’t be unattractive, is even easier to follow than the first.
The first rule is about looking good, the second rule is about avoiding mistakes that make you look ugly.
One example would be what this entire Reddit subforum is dedicated to.
Pretty girls making ugly faces.
Therefore, another way to interpret the second rule is to just present well and don’t get sloppy/lazy.
What that means in action: would you go on a date with a gigantic pizza stain on your shirt?
The shirt, while clean, could be the most absolute, panty-dropping and sexy shirt on the planet. But with that pizza stain it makes anyone who wears it the ugliest person in the room. It will do this because people will only focus on the stain.
It’s like a giant, white zit right in the middle of our hypothetical guy’s forehead.
Likewise, in online dating and especially on Tinder, don’t put up photos of yourself with an accidental double chin (like the girls in the above thread). Just avoiding a double chin is following one of the rules.
General Tips to Get You Started:
- Quality pictures are the most important thing. It doesn’t matter how cool your new iPhone is, it’s not good enough. Put it down and get a real camera
- Puppies are a cheap way to win a woman’s heart. But they work. Pimp out your pooch. Don’t have a pooch? Pimp out your friends pooch
- Group pictures are a good thing, I call them ‘Social Shots’. However, social pictures go at the very end of your pictures lineup and there should only be a single one. People are on Tinder to look at beautiful people, not find Waldo
- No selfies
- Don’t lie in your photos, but do photoshop out temporary things like zits. That doesn’t mean photoshop out 25 pounds and don’t use pictures that are over two years old
- Be the person in your photos, and actually be in your photos
- Mix up your pictures. Don’t use the same outfit in more than a single photo. Just looks terrible and people notice
- Learn your good side and your angles. Then never take an ugly picture again
- Get a body shot, a picture of your face engaging the camera and at least a single hobby picture
- Test everything
Overall, the goal of online dating is to sell your life to a woman/women. After that, your second goal, which is almost as important is to look as good as possible in your life. Lastly, the third goal is to seem like a socially well-adjusted person.
In other words, means being a normal dude.
That means how you portray your life is important. Women want to join your amazing life, they don’t want to help you start one. Think long and hard about how you want to show yourself and your life.
Thought and Effort
It’s something that we will keep coming back to because it’s important in how to use Tinder to your advantage.
There are a lot of bitter men out there that can’t make Tinder work for them.
It’s not because they don’t understand what they’re doing (though it does hurt them). It’s because they don’t put any thought or effort into it at all.
And it shows.
They’re entitled and angry because they don’t put effort in and don’t understand why it doesn’t work.
Thankfully, you don’t have to be like those guys. Together, we’ll make sure you’re better 😉
3. Your Objective When Taking Pictures
This ties into both the next point about archetypes, as well as a few others.
But as mentioned in the last point, your goal is to sell your life while you happen to look good. That means that you should show examples of what you like to do and what dating you would be like.
The above is also true if you’re only going for one night stands, which case you’ll show pictures that scream ‘USE ME FOR SEX AND NOTHING ELSE’. Girls that are interested will swipe right and girls that aren’t will swipe left.
This also means that you have to showcase your life in a positive way. Which means that you have to be having fun, or at least happy in your own life.
After all, if you’re not happy then why would anyone want to be with you?
You don’t have to smile in every picture, because you should be preoccupied with whatever you’re doing in your pictures. But you do need to smile in pictures that you’re actively engaging the camera. Which is what I suggest you do during your portrait picture.
If you’re not engaged with the scene of your picture (like being in a sport, or hobby), then go ahead and engage the camera and while smiling.
Happy people are much better to be around than unhappy people. If you look unhappy then you’re ugly by accident in your photos. And besides, do you want to be around a woman that prefers to be around unhappy people? Or would you instead be concerned about such women…
4. What’s Your Archetype?
Archetypes are a typical representation of something, or a group of people as we will go over.
First, there are many unattractive archetypes as well as attractive archetypes.
- ‘Nice Guy’
- Immature/gang side/etc. guy
- Mirror selfie douchecanoe
- Blatantly needy
- Successful Businessman
- Rock Star/Musician
- Free Spirit/Nomad/Traveler Type
- Ripped/Athlete (could even go as far as a bodybuilder)
- 007 Cool James Bond Dude
- Adventurer/Risk Taker
- Military Man
- Surfer/Vegan/Spiritual Type Guy
By no means a complete list, just some common examples to help you get started. Every person will naturally gravitate to one or more different archetypes. What you want to do is focus on a primary one and have anything else in the background while eradicating any negative archetypes.
As a photographer who enjoys adventuring around and taking pictures of people, the two archetypes that naturally fit my personality are the Artist and the Adventurer.
In the full course, you can see the types of pictures that I use and have used for examples. Since I’m in my late twenties, I will also throw in a picture of me dressed up, which you will also see.
5. How to Use Tinder: Focus on What You Want
You might not have ever thought about this next point.
But you also need to think about what you want from not just online dating and Tinder, but with women and your life in general. If all you want are one night stands, you’ll have to use pictures that naturally appeal to women looking for a quick fling.
On the other hand, if you want any kind of ongoing relationship (fuck buddies count) you’ll use pictures that appeal to the kind of women that will like you and that you like.
This applies even if you want a serious relationship. You’ll take this even further by attempting to screen out women who don’t meet your criteria, but that’s for another time.
In your pictures, you’ll want to think about the type of woman you want. Even if casual relationships are your goal you’ll still need to think about this.
The simple reason is because we all naturally have a type, and we all have a type that lusts after the type we are. When thinking about what type you want, you’ll try to use pictures that are more likely to be her type as long as it’s still true to you. We are all multifaceted people and it’s okay to only show one or two sides of yourself in your pictures.
That way, when she comes across your profile she’ll be more attracted to you right away (while undesirable women will be less attracted to you right away). This makes your life a billion times easier and it doesn’t matter if you want a fuck buddy or a wife. It will help with both.
Using myself as an example again; the type of girls that I usually go for are the more artistic types, preferably the ones with a camera. I’ve always liked those type of girls and they’ve always liked me. Most of the time, these types of women, I’ve found, enjoy being out in nature. They like to travel and explore the world.
Therefore, my pictures are primarily geared towards that type of woman.
I still go out on dates with, and seduce other types, and that’s a bonus. But when I get pictures done it’s the artistic adventurers that I’m thinking of.
They are what are known as ‘my target market’. Having them in mind makes my life easier when getting pictures done.
Not only that, but it’s who I am as a person. This makes online dating ten times easier and even makes it fun. And if dating isn’t fun for a guy, then he isn’t doing it right and doesn’t understand how to use Tinder to his advantage.
But what about you? Here are some tips to help get you more matches, but are you having any other sticking points in your online dating? Tell me in the comments what’s going on, I’m here to help 🙂
Keep Moving Forward
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