Understanding a Woman’s Perspective
When it comes to online dating, this is a typical woman’s perspective:
Even somewhat cute women will be overrun with options. This means that we, as men, have to stand out from the crowd if we want success. Thankfully, the bar is set to such a pathetic standard that it’s not at all that difficult.
Even though the bar is low, we still have to have a good messaging system to schedule dates. Click here to learn how to message women and get more dates
When I first started, I was able to have a [relatively] great deal of success using cell phone pictures.
This is great news for us! With just a little bit of effort, you can be one of the ‘lucky bastards’ that angry people on the internet impotently rage about. While they’re silently seething you’ll be happy as a clam at high water!
Let’s get started…
1. Follow The Rules
The first step to getting results with online dating is to work on your appearance. On Reddit, there’s a cliche thrown around constantly known as ‘the 2 rules’, and they are:
- Be attractive
- Don’t be unattractive
It may sound depressing at first, but it doesn’t have to be.
The first rule is about taking care of your appearance. That means that you need a good haircut, and if you’re into beards then maintain it and take care of it. It also means dressing well, finding clothes that fit and colors that flatter you.
And yes, it also means getting in shape and going to the gym while also eating a clean diet. While you don’t have to be a bodybuilder by any means (unless that’s what you want, and there is a niche of women that love it) but you should strive to get leaner and healthier.
There’s a fantastic article on what women find as the most attractive male body type, click here to read it. Fantastic article in my opinion that dives into it. But here’s the watered down tl;dr version:
Find some kind of exercise that you enjoy doing and do it while also cleaning up your diet. You will naturally get a body type that women, on average, find most attractive. A body that looks fit and healthy, but doesn’t look like you obsess over it. Basically, if you look like you’re naturally in good shape, you’re winning.
2. Don’t Be Ugly By Accident
The second rule, don’t be unattractive, is even easier to follow than the first. The first rule is about looking good, the second rule is about avoiding mistakes that make you look ugly.
One example would be what this entire Reddit subforum is dedicated to: https://www.reddit.com/r/PrettyGirlsUglyFaces/
Pretty girls making ugly faces.
Therefore, another way to interpret the second rule is to just present well and don’t get sloppy/lazy.
What that means, is if you’re in the real world then don’t go on a date with a gigantic pizza stain on your shirt. The shirt, while clean, could be the most absolute, panty dropping sexy shirt on the planet. But with that pizza stain it makes you the ugliest person in the room because people will only focus on the stain. Like a giant, white zit right in the middle of your forehead.
Likewise, in online dating, don’t put up photos of yourself with an accidental double chin (like the girls in the above thread).
But here are a few general tips:
- Quality pictures are the most important thing. It doesn’t matter how cool your new iPhone is, it’s not good enough. Put it down and get a real camera
- Puppies are a cheap way to win a woman’s heart. But they work. Pimp out your pooch. Don’t have a pooch? Pimp out your friends pooch
- Group pictures are a good thing, I call them ‘Social Shots’. However, social pictures go at the very end of your pictures lineup and there should only be a single one. People are on Tinder to look at beautiful people, not find Waldo
- No selfies
- Don’t lie in your photos, but do photoshop out temporary things like zits. But don’t photoshop out 25 pounds and don’t use pictures that are over 2 years old
- Be the person in your photos, and actually be in your photos
- Mix up your pictures. Don’t use the same outfit in more than a single photo. Just looks terrible and people notice
- Learn your good side and your angles. Then never take an ugly picture again
- Get a body shot, a picture of your face engaging the camera and at least a single hobby picture
- Test everything
The overall goal of online dating is to sell your life to a woman/women. The second goal, which is almost as important is to look as good as possible in your life.
That means how you portray your life is important. Women want to join your amazing life, they don’t want to help you start one. So think long and hard about how you want to show yourself and your life. I’ll get more into this in the ‘archetype’ parts of the post, but for now keep this general concept in mind.
3. Your Objective When Taking Pictures
This ties into both my next point about archetypes, as well as a few others.
But as I just mentioned in my last point, your goal is to sell your life while you happen to look good. That means that you should show examples of what you like to do and what dating you would be like.
The above is also true if you’re only going for one night stands, you’ll show pictures that scream ‘USE ME FOR SEX AND NOTHING ELSE’. Girls that are interested will swipe right, and girls that aren’t will swipe left.
This also means that you have to showcase your life in a positive way. Which means that you have to be having fun, or at least happy in your own life. After all, if you’re not happy then why would anyone want to be with you?
You don’t have to smile in every picture, because you should be preoccupied with whatever you’re doing in your pictures. But you do need to smile in pictures that you’re actively engaging the camera, which is what I suggest you do during your portrait picture. If you’re not engaged with the scene of your picture (like being in a sport, or hobby), then I suggest engaging the camera and smiling instead.
Happy people are much better to be around than unhappy people. If you look unhappy then you’re ugly by accident in your photos. And besides, do you want to be around a woman that prefers to be around unhappy people? I don’t know about you, but I would be concerned about such a woman…
4. What’s Your Archetype?
Archetypes are a typical representation of something, or a group of people as we will go over.
First, there are many unattractive archetypes as well as attractive archetypes.
Here are some unattractive ones:
- ‘Nice Guy’
- Immature/gang side/etc. guy
- Mirror selfie douchecanoe
- Blatantly needy
Here’s a few examples of attractive archetypes:
- Successful Businessman
- Rock Star/Musician
- Free Spirit/Nomad/Traveler Type
- Ripped/Athlete (could even go as far as a bodybuilder)
- 007 Cool James Bond Dude
- Adventurer/Risk Taker
- Military Man
- Surfer/Vegan/Spiritual Type Guy
By no means a complete list, just some common examples I’ve seen to help you get started. Every person will naturally gravitate to one or more different archetypes. What you want to do is focus on a primary one and have anything else in the background while eradicating any negative archetypes.
As a photographer who enjoys adventuring around and taking pictures of people, the two archetypes that naturally fit my personality are the Artist and the Adventurer.
In my eBook, you can see the types of pictures that I use. Since I’m in my late twenties, I will also throw in a picture of me dressed up, which you will also see.
5. What Do You Want?
You might not have ever thought about this, but you also need to think about what you want from online dating. If all you want are one night stands, you’ll have to use pictures that naturally appeal to women looking for a quick fling.
If, on the other hand, you want any kind of ongoing relationship (fuck buddies count) you’ll use pictures that appeal to the kind of women that will like you and that you like. If you want more of a serious relationship, you’ll take this even further by attempting to screen out women who don’t meet your criteria, but that’s for another time.
In your pictures, you’ll want to think about the type of woman you want. Even if casual relationships are your goal you’ll still need to think about this.
The simple reason is because we all naturally have a type, and we all have a type that lusts after the type we are. When thinking about what type you want, you’ll try to use pictures that are more likely to be her type as long as it’s still true to you. We are all multifaceted people and it’s okay to only show one or two sides of yourself in your pictures.
That way, when she comes across your profile she’ll be much more attracted to you right away. This makes your life a billion times easier and it doesn’t matter if you want a fuck buddy or a wife, it will help with both.
Using myself as an example again, the type of girls that I usually go for are the more artistic types, preferably the ones with a camera. I’ve always liked those type of girls and they’ve always liked me. Most of the time, these types of women, I’ve found, enjoy being out in nature. They like to travel and explore the world.
Therefore, my pictures are geared towards that type of woman. I still go out on dates and seduce other types, and that’s a bonus, but when I get pictures done it’s the artistic adventurers that I’m thinking of. They’re my target market, and having them in mind makes my life easier when getting pictures done.
Not only that, but it’s who I am as a person, which not only makes online dating ten times easier, but it makes it more fun. And if dating isn’t fun, then you’re not doing it right.
Keep Moving Forward
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