The Most Important Thing in Online Dating

This is a free look into one of the chapters in my upcoming course on online dating (get the free mini-version here). This book is the complete collection of knowledge that I’ve learned on how to get more women using online dating.

The Most Important Thing in Online Dating

Opener/Username – Not in the Way That You Think

Your opener and your username are the most important things in online dating, but not in the way that you think. I’ll go through this in much more depth in following chapters but keep this in mind for now: it’s most important that you avoid all of the negatives in your opening messages and your chosen username.

If you do everything correctly in your opener (which is to say that you avoid the pitfalls, then your pictures become the most important thing). Like your username, this only becomes the most important thing when it’s done incorrectly.

If a guy has a panty-wetting profile that gets women to drop them just reading their profile, it still won’t matter if that same guy botches the opener. Because then the woman won’t ever get to read that amazing profile.

What if he does great on the opener and everything else but chooses an online name like “ChadThunderCockFucksYourMother”?

In that case, she won’t even bother with reading the opener. It’ll get deleted long before she even reads it.

Amazing pictures can sometimes salvage crappy openers and usernames, especially when we get into talking about the apps. But these are the most important thing when it’s done incorrectly.

With usernames and openers, the best way to think about it is like this: it’s like a computer.

With computers you have lots of things that go into it. You’ll choose a computer that allows you to do different things. For example, say you like to play online games on your computer.

What’s the most important thing for your possible new gaming computer to have?

You may have all kinds of answers, like speed or power or anything like that. Maybe you even need dual screens? Continuing with the analogy, these are the pictures for your profile. They’re the most important thing, except when they’re not.

But did you think about the cooling fan in the computer as being the most important thing? What about having a reliable power plug-in? Or even worse, maybe after two days this thing can’t even connect to the internet?

Usernames and openers are a lot like stuff like that.

They’re only important when something’s wrong.

But when things are running smoothly? They barely even warrant a second thought, it’s expected that things like that will work correctly.

This is exactly what usernames and openers are in the online dating world. When they’re done incorrectly they’re literally the most important thing in the world. But when done correctly? Barely warrant a second look.

Sometimes great pictures can overcome crappy messages/usernames, just like you can come up with a simple fix for the cooling fan in a broken computer. Just stick a giant box fan on top of the thing and call it good.

Does that mean that it’s fixed? Does that mean that you’ll have the optimal experience like this?


I’m a lazy seducer, I like to make things easy on myself whenever possible. I suggest you do the same.

Your Primary Photo

After your message and username, your primary photo becomes the next most important thing.

Again, you can salvage a bad profile and even bad openers and still have success with pictures alone. Though if you don’t want to put in the effort on anything but the pictures, you’ll find it easier to do so on the apps.

But if a guy has great pictures and a great profile along with a fantastic messaging system and a crappy first picture, then the woman won’t proceed any further. All she will remember is the first crappy picture.

After she reads your message the very next place that she looks is at the primary photo. If it looks alright then she’ll check out the rest of your pictures.

Other Pictures

The message is good, the primary photo got her to click on your profile, now where does she go?

She checks out your other pictures to see if she’s interested. If she likes them then she moves onto the rest of your profile.


This is the next important thing. Luckily, by this point in the game she’s either sold on you or she’s already left your profile.

The profile is really for the fence sitters. If you’ve done everything else great up to this point, a lot of women won’t even bother reading your profile. Or if they do read your profile it’s in one ear and out the other.

This is the exact same thing you’ll find in your Tinder bios, which is why I recommend just making a joke or two instead of putting something real (other than your height if you’re above 6ft, it’s shallow but it works).

As long as there aren’t any glaring red flags in your profile (and sometimes even that’s not enough to deter women at this point) women aren’t going to care. Once you put a passion of yours onto your profile and have enough women respond with “I didn’t know that” when you mention it you’ll understand. Your profile accounts for maybe 5% of your online dating success.

It’s only for the fence sitters in my opinion, so don’t stress too much about it. But I do have a chapter that talks about it a little more if you’re interested. And if you’re only doing the apps then you can skip this particular chapter entirely.

That’s It For The Text Version of My Upcoming Course

Hope you enjoyed it, make sure to leave me a comment with any thoughts you had about it or any questions. I’m here to help 🙂

Keep Moving Forward

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